


Kenny and Butters Troll Facebook

by fallingwthstyle



Category: South Park
Genre: Facebook, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 14:13:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19021570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingwthstyle/pseuds/fallingwthstyle
Summary: The title says it all. Poor Cartman.





	Kenny and Butters Troll Facebook

“Oh, _here’s_ a good one!” Kenny pointed at Butters’ monitor; Butters had been distracted by something outside his bedroom window, but his attention snapped back to Facebook and what Kenny was indicating.

It was a posting from a “Homesteading/Farming” group. Butters leaned forward and read aloud.

“Looking for suggestions for what to do with about ten dozen eggs we can’t possibly use. Any recipe ideas?” Butters sat back and added: “And there’s about ten smiley emoticons afterward.”

“Yep!” Kenny replied, grinning. “I think this one is ripe territory.”

“Well, I can think of _one_ thing they can do with that many eggs...” Butters said, and Kenny dissolved into helpless laughter.

“Well, yeah, of course...” Kenny finally managed to say. “But there’s much more we could do with this.”

“I agree, but wait...” Butters reached out to take the mouse from Kenny and scroll down and read for a few moments. “I like some of the comments...like ‘Pickle them’, ‘make egg noodles’ and ‘add them to your dog’s dinner’. He scrolled further and paused on another comment and was about to read it aloud when Kenny beat him to it.

“’Donate them to your local food bank’...I really like that one.”

“So do I,” Butters agreed, moving the mouse and clicking the ‘like’ button.

They shared a pleasant moment of silence, quietly agreeing with the Facebook version of ‘kudos’ they had given that comment. Kenny nudged Butters and grinned: “So...shall we reply?”

Butters laughed. “Okay! Do you-?”

“Yeah,” Kenny replied, anticipating the question. “I want to type!”

“Well, okay then!” Butters said eagerly and scooted over, making room for Kenny next to him. Kenny sat down next to Butters in the suddenly crowded office chair and spread his fingers over the keyboard. “Are you ready?”

Kenny bent his fingers and straightened them, a couple of his knuckles crackling like tiny matchsticks; Butters winced at the sound and turned to grin at him. “Ready when you are, Professor Chaos!”

Butters shook his head...and then his face became serious and he began speaking. “Okay...say this.” Kenny’s finger’s spread over the keyboard in ‘home position’; he had become quite good at typing in the last few months under Butters’ tutelage and his improving grades were evidence of this. Butters took in a breath and began: “You should egg your neighbor’s house-”

Kenny snickered and began typing. Butters continued:

“If possible, throw all 120 of them from right outside your chicken coop, so it’s obvious where they came from. And if they have any vehicles in their yard, try to make sure all the eggs hit them so it looks like they came from your property...” Butters stopped talking so Kenny (who was laughing almost too hard to type) could catch up. Once he had, Butters went on, slower so Kenny could keep up: “Aim for their windows, and do this when you know they’ll be home, and livestream it on Facebook…and post an announcement ten minutes before that you’re going to be doing this...and tag your local sheriff’s office. and leave your camera running while they arrest you….”

“Okayokay,” Kenny gasped, banging out the last few words Butters had dictated and taking his hands away from the keyboard. “Stop!” He turned to look at his accomplice in this post. “I think that’s enough!”

Butters sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, jostling Kenny in the process. “Y’think?” He asked, and they both leaned forward to study the message they’d composed together.

“Y’misspelled ‘announcement’” Butters said, and Kenny quickly put in the missing E in the middle of the word. “And there should be a comma after the word ‘yard’.”

They sat back after Kenny had made the suggested corrections. “What’d’ya think,” Kenny asked after they’d had plenty of time to study the final version of the message. “Post it?”

“Yes,” Butters replied, and Kenny couldn’t help but admire the amount of _Chaos_ there was in his voice as he hit the ‘enter’ button with his middle finger and their reply was posted to Facebook…

Which appeared under the name: **EricTCartman** **7**

Then they leaned forward and watched as 26 furious comments came in over a five-minute period, many of them calling for his banning from the group and two calling for his death, along with 43 ‘sad’ emoticons, 82 ‘angry’ ones, 63 likes, and 3 LOLs (which Butters traced later as having come from Token, Clyde, and Craig).

Once the outrage over this comment was really getting underway, Kenny and Butters sat back and looked at each other in satisfaction. “Mysterion would probably disapprove,” Kenny said, laughing hysterically as another comment appeared.

“But he would also say that Eric should pick a better password whenever he has to make a new Facebook account!” Butters replied and they sat together and watched the chaos they had unleashed unfold.


End file.
